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[There it is. Claire nods to Jamie, and once Bree's hair is all out of the way she stands to fish something for Bree to wear out of the few belongings she packed to bring for a stay in Nadril. Bree has her own things, somewhere, but Claire's sure she won't mind sleeping in her mother's powder blue pajama set. Folding it over her arm, she holds out a hand to help Bree up.]
Let's go, darling. Then you can get some more sleep.
Let's go, darling. Then you can get some more sleep.
[ When the two of them stand, Jamie looks up, preparing to stand and see them to the door when every part of him goes cold at the sight before him.
His daughter's shift, covered in blood at her backside. It nearly drives him to his knees, bile rising in his throat and he can only stand there, frozen, not wanting to call attention to it, to make Brianna upset, to set her to tears again. He's never experienced this before, this feeling as though he can't quite breathe.
As soon as they leave and he can no longer hear their footfall, his empty soup bowl is hurled at the wall where it shatters.
Everything will be cleaned by the time they return, and the only hint of his tears will be far away in his eyes where only Claire can see. He's quiet, sitting on the edge of the bed stock still, unable to stop thinking about anything other than how horribly his daughter was brutalized, and it's where he'll be when they return. ]
His daughter's shift, covered in blood at her backside. It nearly drives him to his knees, bile rising in his throat and he can only stand there, frozen, not wanting to call attention to it, to make Brianna upset, to set her to tears again. He's never experienced this before, this feeling as though he can't quite breathe.
As soon as they leave and he can no longer hear their footfall, his empty soup bowl is hurled at the wall where it shatters.
Everything will be cleaned by the time they return, and the only hint of his tears will be far away in his eyes where only Claire can see. He's quiet, sitting on the edge of the bed stock still, unable to stop thinking about anything other than how horribly his daughter was brutalized, and it's where he'll be when they return. ]
Edited 2019-01-05 06:08 (UTC)
[Aware of the injuries and the blood as she was earlier, she doesn't realize that Jamie might see what is left. Just stains, now, but it's enough, isn't it? She's entirely focused on Bree, on keeping a tight arm around her as she leads her to the communal showers. Separated stalls, blissfully empty at this odd hour, and warm.]
Would you like me to help, or wait out here?
[It's been many, many years since she last bathed Bree, but she's given her fare share of showers and baths to adults, given her career. She can make quick work of it. But she does understand if she'd like the time alone.]
Would you like me to help, or wait out here?
[It's been many, many years since she last bathed Bree, but she's given her fare share of showers and baths to adults, given her career. She can make quick work of it. But she does understand if she'd like the time alone.]
[ Bree manages a little smile but shakes her head. ]
I'll be okay if you wait.
[ With that, she turns on the water and stands under the warm spray for a few moments before reaching for soap. Lathering her hands, she begins to wash her body, simple enough at first. But when she gets to her stomach she keeps scrubbing. A frown crosses her features and she scrubs harder, trying to get the feel of a dirty warm hand off of her. A hand that pressed her back, pushed her up, gripped her tightly.
Her scrubbing turns to scratching, trying and failing to get the memory, the imprint off of her. She doesn't even realize she's making noise, that she's sobbing by now as she tries to scrub at her body with fingers and nails. ]
I'll be okay if you wait.
[ With that, she turns on the water and stands under the warm spray for a few moments before reaching for soap. Lathering her hands, she begins to wash her body, simple enough at first. But when she gets to her stomach she keeps scrubbing. A frown crosses her features and she scrubs harder, trying to get the feel of a dirty warm hand off of her. A hand that pressed her back, pushed her up, gripped her tightly.
Her scrubbing turns to scratching, trying and failing to get the memory, the imprint off of her. She doesn't even realize she's making noise, that she's sobbing by now as she tries to scrub at her body with fingers and nails. ]
I'll be right here.
[There's a bench meant for getting dressed, and Claire sits, setting the pajamas down beside her. Belatedly, she realizes she should have at least taught Jamie the basics of texting. Oh, well. He'll be fine. No need to check on him every minute. Hopefully, he's forcing down some more soup.
Bree's not taking long, no. It's the sudden, unmistakable sound of her sobs that has Claire jumping to her feet and hurrying to the stall to see what's happened.
Too much.
Too much, and not enough, she hears Jamie say, long ago.]
Bree. Brianna, stop, stop. [Seeing what she's doing to herself, Claire makes a grab for her hands, getting herself and her wool dress soaked in the process but too concerned for her daughter to care.]
[There's a bench meant for getting dressed, and Claire sits, setting the pajamas down beside her. Belatedly, she realizes she should have at least taught Jamie the basics of texting. Oh, well. He'll be fine. No need to check on him every minute. Hopefully, he's forcing down some more soup.
Bree's not taking long, no. It's the sudden, unmistakable sound of her sobs that has Claire jumping to her feet and hurrying to the stall to see what's happened.
Too much.
Too much, and not enough, she hears Jamie say, long ago.]
Bree. Brianna, stop, stop. [Seeing what she's doing to herself, Claire makes a grab for her hands, getting herself and her wool dress soaked in the process but too concerned for her daughter to care.]
I can feel him, Mama.
[ It's a choked out sob, a plea though she doesn't know for what. It came out of nowhere, this overwhelming feeling that she will never be rid of him, that he is in her forever somehow, embedded in the fabric of who she is now.
All that she can do is cling to her mother tightly as she sobs, feeling broken and unable to find the pieces right now to put herself back together again. ]
[ It's a choked out sob, a plea though she doesn't know for what. It came out of nowhere, this overwhelming feeling that she will never be rid of him, that he is in her forever somehow, embedded in the fabric of who she is now.
All that she can do is cling to her mother tightly as she sobs, feeling broken and unable to find the pieces right now to put herself back together again. ]
I know, baby. I know. I'm so, so sorry.
[Jamie felt Randall long after Wentworth. How many times did he wake up, drenched with sweat? She wasn't there for him, then. Didn't really know how to be. But for Bree, she does, and she holds her with all the strength she can muster.]
We will never, ever let an animal like that near you again. I swear it on my life.
[There wasn't much letting on their part before, though.]
[Jamie felt Randall long after Wentworth. How many times did he wake up, drenched with sweat? She wasn't there for him, then. Didn't really know how to be. But for Bree, she does, and she holds her with all the strength she can muster.]
We will never, ever let an animal like that near you again. I swear it on my life.
[There wasn't much letting on their part before, though.]
[ Just the fact that her parents are there with her makes her feel safer, like she can believe it. They won't let anything happen to her, and she trusts that.
When she's cried out, she takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, wetting her lips. ]
I'm done.
[ Her words are flat; she means the shower, she's done in the shower and she just wants to close her eyes at the same time she's afraid to because of what will happen in her dreams. ]
When she's cried out, she takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, wetting her lips. ]
I'm done.
[ Her words are flat; she means the shower, she's done in the shower and she just wants to close her eyes at the same time she's afraid to because of what will happen in her dreams. ]
[An arm reaches behind Bree to turn off the water. The other stays tight around her, keeping her pressed close to Claire's body.]
I love you, Brianna. More than anything in the world. In any world.
I love you, Brianna. More than anything in the world. In any world.
I know.
[ Her voice shakes as she says it, and her arms wrap around Claire tightly. She feels small, somehow. ]
I love you, too, mama.
[ It's the safest thing she has, her mother. Her da. ]
[ Her voice shakes as she says it, and her arms wrap around Claire tightly. She feels small, somehow. ]
I love you, too, mama.
[ It's the safest thing she has, her mother. Her da. ]
My perfect girl.
[Bree's hair has gotten wet, though at least the braid's remained. Claire kisses her temple, pulling away just enough to grab the towel outside the stall and wrap her up in it. Though the bruises and the physical injuries are healed, Claire's gentle as she helps dry her off, noting the scratches she's left on herself.]
Jamie's never been the same. [After Wentworth. She can't and won't go into much detail, but.] It doesn't mean he's been worse off since. Just different. I saw him struggle, and he made it. So will you. It just takes time. Oh, but I'd take it from you if I could, my darling.
[Bree's hair has gotten wet, though at least the braid's remained. Claire kisses her temple, pulling away just enough to grab the towel outside the stall and wrap her up in it. Though the bruises and the physical injuries are healed, Claire's gentle as she helps dry her off, noting the scratches she's left on herself.]
Jamie's never been the same. [After Wentworth. She can't and won't go into much detail, but.] It doesn't mean he's been worse off since. Just different. I saw him struggle, and he made it. So will you. It just takes time. Oh, but I'd take it from you if I could, my darling.
[ She almost asks if there's someone with magic who could, if there's a way she can forget. But that doesn't seem fair to Jamie; he never had the chance to just forget. If he's strong enough to get through it, she will be, too.
Never the same, though. ]
I'm not perfect, mama.
Never the same, though. ]
I'm not perfect, mama.
You're my baby. You're perfect.
[She's not biased. She's just her mother.]
You're me, and you're Frank, and you're Jamie. There's not one single thing about you I would ever dream of changing. You've got my stubbornness, Frank's smarts, and Jamie's spirit. You're going to be all right.
[And she just has to hug her again.]
[She's not biased. She's just her mother.]
You're me, and you're Frank, and you're Jamie. There's not one single thing about you I would ever dream of changing. You've got my stubbornness, Frank's smarts, and Jamie's spirit. You're going to be all right.
[And she just has to hug her again.]
[ If she was trying to get Bree to cry again, it worked, though it's not outright sobbing this time. She misses her daddy, she wants him, too, just as much as she needs Her mother and Jamie. But there's nothing to be done for that, no one can wake him from stasis, and so she just cries into her mother's shoulder until once again, the tears stop. ]
Can we go back, please? I want to lay down now.
[ And be surrounded by the warmth of her parents where nothing can get to her. ]
Can we go back, please? I want to lay down now.
[ And be surrounded by the warmth of her parents where nothing can get to her. ]
[She holds her again, just as firmly, rubbing her back. Each time she pulls away she only wants to wrap her up again, but she must dress, and so Claire steps away to grab the clothing. Showering alone didn't go so well, so pardon her for sticking around to help Bree into the pajamas.
Her own dress is heavy and wet, and she wrings out the skirt as best she can, but she'll just have to get out of it once they're back in the room.
And as much as she'd like to leave Bree's shift here, she supposes someone might panic if they walked in and found it, so she folds it up to take with.]
Okay. We can go, now. Come here.
[So she can once more have an arm around her as they walk back.]
Her own dress is heavy and wet, and she wrings out the skirt as best she can, but she'll just have to get out of it once they're back in the room.
And as much as she'd like to leave Bree's shift here, she supposes someone might panic if they walked in and found it, so she folds it up to take with.]
Okay. We can go, now. Come here.
[So she can once more have an arm around her as they walk back.]
[ When they return and the door opens, Jamie stands and as soon as he sees Bree his heart sinks. She's been crying, he knows it, and he takes in Claire's appearance as well, not sure why she's soaking wet exactly, but assuming now that for some reason she had to get into the water with Brianna. ]
Lass?
[ He asks the word softly, stepping hesitantly toward Bree. ]
Lass?
[ He asks the word softly, stepping hesitantly toward Bree. ]
[ As soon as Bree sees him, something wells inside of her, and she swallows heavily. ]
Da.
[ And then she closes the distance between them, wrapping her arms around him tightly. He told her to call him that, and it feels right. He was right: it's simple. ]
Da.
[ And then she closes the distance between them, wrapping her arms around him tightly. He told her to call him that, and it feels right. He was right: it's simple. ]
[Terribly, Claire wonders if this acceptance would be so easy if not for the trauma. Would she seek Jamie out for comfort and affection? Claire's not sure, but if there's anyone good at comforting in this room, it's Jamie. Her da.
Turning away so as not to weep herself, she tosses the soiled shift away, out of sight, before she begins to shed her wet clothing. The stays and the skirts kept her shift dry, at least.
She'll tell Jamie what happened in the shower later. No need to embarrass Bree now.]
Turning away so as not to weep herself, she tosses the soiled shift away, out of sight, before she begins to shed her wet clothing. The stays and the skirts kept her shift dry, at least.
She'll tell Jamie what happened in the shower later. No need to embarrass Bree now.]
[ If it meant taking away what happened to her, Jamie would trade away this moment, work harder for Bree's affection. But he can't take it away, he can't change it, he can't fix it. All that he can do now is hold her, his babe.
When she can't see his face the tears fall, a look on his face of horror at the memory of what he saw. But as she pulls back he makes himself breathe. ]
How do ye want to sleep this time, mo leannan? Each of us on one side again?
When she can't see his face the tears fall, a look on his face of horror at the memory of what he saw. But as she pulls back he makes himself breathe. ]
How do ye want to sleep this time, mo leannan? Each of us on one side again?
[ Bree nods and waits as Jamie gets into bed, back against the wall, so that she can get in as well. All that leaves now is Claire, and as Brianna focuses on her she doesn't even realize she's drifting off to sleep already, her movements hypnotizing and her own body so exhausted. She's out in record time, body relaxing into the bed. ]
[This time, when she slips into the bed, she tugs Bree onto her chest some so that there's just a bit more mattress space left for Jamie. Their daughter is small enough that her weight doesn't bother Claire. And, this way, she can keep a hand on her back, feeling her breathe.
She turns her face to look at Jamie, worried, anguished. He hurts, Bree hurts, they all hurt and there's nothing she can do about it.]
She turns her face to look at Jamie, worried, anguished. He hurts, Bree hurts, they all hurt and there's nothing she can do about it.]
[ When Jamie speaks, it's a hoarse, broken sound. ]
I saw the blood, Claire. When she stood. Christ, it was so much...
[ He can feel the bile rise in his throat again, but with nowhere for it to go he swallows it back down as his eyes burn. ]
I saw the blood, Claire. When she stood. Christ, it was so much...
[ He can feel the bile rise in his throat again, but with nowhere for it to go he swallows it back down as his eyes burn. ]
[Oh, Christ. Claire squeezes her eyes shut for a long moment, willing away the image of it herself.]
She's all right. I took care of it. She's not in pain.
She's all right. I took care of it. She's not in pain.
[ Jamie wants desperately to hold his wife but he can't displace his daughter. He won't. So, he settles for reaching out to press his hand to her cheek, stroking her skin with his thumb tenderly. ]
Mo chridhe. You're taking good care of her. It's what she needs and ye can give it to her. Comfort and strength.
Mo chridhe. You're taking good care of her. It's what she needs and ye can give it to her. Comfort and strength.
So are you.
[She can give him a small smile, at least, proud of this man that already knows how to soothe their daughter.]
In the shower, she was washing herself and suddenly started weeping and scratching at herself. Said she felt his hands on her.
[She can give him a small smile, at least, proud of this man that already knows how to soothe their daughter.]
In the shower, she was washing herself and suddenly started weeping and scratching at herself. Said she felt his hands on her.
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