No one will think that. You're a young woman with two fathers and you're trying to figure things out. There's nothing wrong with that. I promise you, Bree.
[She wishes she could make this easier for her, but Claire's never really had to deal with her own father-related drama.]
[Theon keeps to himself, for the most part. And while Claire is attentive, she's actually much more relaxed with him under her roof. He doesn't need to be watched every moment, but it's easier to make sure he's all right when he's only a door away.]
I think he was worried about that, too. He avoided me for a while, not wanting to intrude on us. But that was never a thing either of you needed to be concerned with. You are my daughter. And he's...
[He knows where his place is. Not that Bree is totally into Theon but damn, ouch. ]
I know that maybe I haven't said it, and maybe I'm just not used to knowing you'll be around whenever I want you to be, but there's clearly so much about you I don't know. And I want to know it. I want to know you. The real you, not the one who put on an act around daddy.
[Theon's place is with the people (or in this case, the person) that care about him. He might not truly understand that he's part of Claire's family now, even with her saying it to the point of frustration, but she hopes that one day he will.
Every happy holiday, every family vacation before we stopped taking those. Picture perfect moments I thought other people would be jealous to have. They weren't real. Right?
[ Because it was never Frank that Claire wanted to have those moments with. ]
If Frank and I despised one another, we wouldn't have been able to hide it from you. We were... partners in raising you, and beyond that I think we were still friends.
[They had their moments. The resentment ran deep, but Claire was never gritting her teeth during shopping trips or drives down by the beach.]
We weren't miserable, Bree.
[Mostly because of Bree herself.]
We both enjoyed the holidays and the vacations. We might not have been deeply in love, or people that should remain married, but... do you understand what I'm trying to say?
[ It's been easy to assume so much, to fill in blanks with wild ideas based on the limited things she knows. Also her own limited experience with loving someone and all that comes with it doesn't help her really put much into context. Although, Claire's story might not be relatable no matter how many people you love. ]
I do, I think.
[ But there's clearly something else on her mind. ]
Were you and daddy...ever really in love the way you love Jamie?
Your father was my first love. I was very in love with him, and if things had turned out differently... I do think we would have been happy together. [Possibly. No children--or would Frank change his stance on adopting, when it became obvious none would come to them naturally? Would she grow tired of being the professor's wife? She'd always wanted for something more than that.]
It's... different, with Jamie. I don't know how to describe it. It's more. It doesn't make what Frank and I had insignificant. It's just...
[She glances down at her hand, where her golden wedding band rests on her finger. There's a reason she's kept that ring, too.]
[ Bree puts down her fork, and in a sudden movement she's up, but it's only to move closer to her mother and wrap her arms around her. It's a little awkward because she's leaning over. The second she heard that last word come out quieter, and the moment Bree's eyes tracked the same way Claire's had, to the rings, she was done questioning. ]
I'm sorry.
[ She mostly says it into her mother's hair because, well, she's leaning, but it doesn't matter. ]
[The hug is surprising, but welcomed. She can't remember them hugging so much before--not since she was a little girl.]
Sweetheart, there's nothing you have to be sorry about.
[She smiles and shifts, trying to plant a kiss on Bree's cheek despite the awkward positioning. She might just end up with a nose full of her mother's curls.]
I spent far too long not being honest with you. I want you to ask questions.
[It's easier on her that way. She's not the most forthcoming when it comes to talking about herself.]
[ Bree is so curious about so much, and she sits down again once she can pull herself away. ]
After you left, Roger and I spent a lot of time talking. And it turned into all the things I wished I knew, like when you knew you were really in love with Jamie, and what he does that makes you laugh - how he makes you laugh. So many different things, and I missed my chance. I wrote you a bunch of letters, he said it would help. It didn't. But now we're here, and if you really don't mind, I really want to ask them. Not all right now, but any time.
[Oh, Roger. There might never be a young man so sweet. She owes him more than she can ever say. She's glad to hear he was there for Bree. But of of course he would.]
Well. I promise that you can ask me anything, whenever you'd like. I've spent enough time not telling you things.
[ She smiles around her fork; she likes having something that's just theirs. When she's done, warm and full, she looks at Claire and realizes she has a chance to make right one of the regrets she first told Roger about. Not saying things often enough. ]
[They could both do with saying it a bit more. Claire, in the midst of standing to clear their plates, stops.]
I love you too, Bree. [She sets her plate back down so it can be her turn to hug Bree from behind as she's sitting, cheek resting against her red hair.]
More than anything. I was worried when you first woke up here, but now I can't imagine not having you around. I don't know how I did it as long as I did.
That's how I felt the moment I saw you. I don't know how so much time had already passed between seeing you off in a cab, and now. I don't know how I ever thought I could go through the rest of my life without you.
[ She doesn't regret telling Claire to go, but having no regrets isn't the same as getting used to the idea. ]
[ Now that they're both standing, Bree reaches out to give her mom a proper hug, arms around her, face slightly buried against her neck before she murmurs. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[She wishes she could make this easier for her, but Claire's never really had to deal with her own father-related drama.]
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I'm sorry. About being so negative about things before. I...it's not really that bad.
[ She means with Theon, of course. ]
I just thought that this chance we had to get to know each other again, or even for the first time at all, would be over-shadowed.
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I think he was worried about that, too. He avoided me for a while, not wanting to intrude on us. But that was never a thing either of you needed to be concerned with. You are my daughter. And he's...
[Something else.]
He knows where his place is.
'luck' her. what the hell i ruined it.
I know that maybe I haven't said it, and maybe I'm just not used to knowing you'll be around whenever I want you to be, but there's clearly so much about you I don't know. And I want to know it. I want to know you. The real you, not the one who put on an act around daddy.
what the luck.
But, of course, Bree is something special.]
How much of it do you think was an act?
[The relationship part, yes, but... she's curious.]
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[ Because it was never Frank that Claire wanted to have those moments with. ]
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[They had their moments. The resentment ran deep, but Claire was never gritting her teeth during shopping trips or drives down by the beach.]
We weren't miserable, Bree.
[Mostly because of Bree herself.]
We both enjoyed the holidays and the vacations. We might not have been deeply in love, or people that should remain married, but... do you understand what I'm trying to say?
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I do, I think.
[ But there's clearly something else on her mind. ]
Were you and daddy...ever really in love the way you love Jamie?
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It's... different, with Jamie. I don't know how to describe it. It's more. It doesn't make what Frank and I had insignificant. It's just...
[She glances down at her hand, where her golden wedding band rests on her finger. There's a reason she's kept that ring, too.]
Different.
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I'm sorry.
[ She mostly says it into her mother's hair because, well, she's leaning, but it doesn't matter. ]
You don't have to try and describe anything.
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Sweetheart, there's nothing you have to be sorry about.
[She smiles and shifts, trying to plant a kiss on Bree's cheek despite the awkward positioning. She might just end up with a nose full of her mother's curls.]
I spent far too long not being honest with you. I want you to ask questions.
[It's easier on her that way. She's not the most forthcoming when it comes to talking about herself.]
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After you left, Roger and I spent a lot of time talking. And it turned into all the things I wished I knew, like when you knew you were really in love with Jamie, and what he does that makes you laugh - how he makes you laugh. So many different things, and I missed my chance. I wrote you a bunch of letters, he said it would help. It didn't. But now we're here, and if you really don't mind, I really want to ask them. Not all right now, but any time.
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Well. I promise that you can ask me anything, whenever you'd like. I've spent enough time not telling you things.
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I will. I'll ask you everything that comes to mind.
[ Bree smiles because it's refreshing to know she has the option now, that there won't be any walls keeping the truth out. ]
You're a pretty good cook, you know. At least when it comes to pancakes.
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We'll keep that our little secret.
[Fergus and Theon don't need to know about any late night treats.]
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I love you, mama. Thank you for the pancakes.
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I love you too, Bree. [She sets her plate back down so it can be her turn to hug Bree from behind as she's sitting, cheek resting against her red hair.]
More than anything. I was worried when you first woke up here, but now I can't imagine not having you around. I don't know how I did it as long as I did.
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[ She doesn't regret telling Claire to go, but having no regrets isn't the same as getting used to the idea. ]
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[She sounds like she's teasing, but... it's the truth, isn't it?]
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[ And that's the truth. ]
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[... except for Theon, apparently, but she expected that.]
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Goodnight. Thank you for the pancakes.