![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
[ Claire knocks on the door that connects Brianna's room to the main portion of Claire and Jamie's. She knows there has been quite a bit of exploring on Bree's part, but she hopes to catch her now so they can speak. ]
It's only me.
[ Called out as she knocks, hand going to the doorknob in anticipation of being invited in. ]
It's only me.
[ Called out as she knocks, hand going to the doorknob in anticipation of being invited in. ]
You can come in.
[ She's sitting in the little space she's set up for herself, and no disrespect to Lallybroch, but this is modern and not unlike her bedroom as Claire last saw it. She's in pajamas (still) and she looks at her mother already dressed for the day like she's going to work in the 18th century. ]
You know, you can update your wardrobe here, mama.
[ She's sitting in the little space she's set up for herself, and no disrespect to Lallybroch, but this is modern and not unlike her bedroom as Claire last saw it. She's in pajamas (still) and she looks at her mother already dressed for the day like she's going to work in the 18th century. ]
You know, you can update your wardrobe here, mama.
[ Claire gives Bree a look, then sits down on the edge of her bed. ]
I like my clothing, thank you very much. Before Jamie arrived it made me feel, well. I don't know, like I was closer in time to him, I suppose.
I like my clothing, thank you very much. Before Jamie arrived it made me feel, well. I don't know, like I was closer in time to him, I suppose.
But he is with you now.
[ But she'll relent. If it makes her mother happy (and it must, considering she's living the way she is with no electricity) then that's all that matters. ]
I never realized, all this time living with me and daddy, that you really wanted to be roughing it.
[ But she'll relent. If it makes her mother happy (and it must, considering she's living the way she is with no electricity) then that's all that matters. ]
I never realized, all this time living with me and daddy, that you really wanted to be roughing it.
[ ...Ouch. But she wants to try and explain it, if she can. ]
When I was with you in Boston it was where I wanted to be, Brianna. Jamie and I both wanted the best life for you. I missed him, every day for twenty years but that doesn't mean I wasn't where I needed to be. What I have now, how I live, it's not to make up for lost time, Brianna. It's to live in the place my soul already is.
[ Reaching out, she strokes her daughter's hair softly. ]
But you were my heart, and it was with you, every day. Even if I never quite made it to mother of the year.
[ She says that with a soft, regretful smile. ]
When I was with you in Boston it was where I wanted to be, Brianna. Jamie and I both wanted the best life for you. I missed him, every day for twenty years but that doesn't mean I wasn't where I needed to be. What I have now, how I live, it's not to make up for lost time, Brianna. It's to live in the place my soul already is.
[ Reaching out, she strokes her daughter's hair softly. ]
But you were my heart, and it was with you, every day. Even if I never quite made it to mother of the year.
[ She says that with a soft, regretful smile. ]
[ Bree's certainly not going to dispute that after a certain period of time they weren't as close. ]
I suppose I can't really say much about the clothing. Since it'll be my wardrobe too, eventually.
I suppose I can't really say much about the clothing. Since it'll be my wardrobe too, eventually.
[ Claire drops her hand at the reminder and looks pained for a moment. ]
Christ, I can't believe you went through the stones. I understand why you did it, I don't fault you for it. I'm not angry, but I am worried for you. Bree, the 18th century is...dangerous. For women, especially.
[ She doesn't want to go into the finer details, not right now and maybe not ever. But it's important to her that she knows. ]
I trust that you're strong and brave and very quick-witted and smart. Do you know what your plan is yet?
Christ, I can't believe you went through the stones. I understand why you did it, I don't fault you for it. I'm not angry, but I am worried for you. Bree, the 18th century is...dangerous. For women, especially.
[ She doesn't want to go into the finer details, not right now and maybe not ever. But it's important to her that she knows. ]
I trust that you're strong and brave and very quick-witted and smart. Do you know what your plan is yet?
To go to Lallybroch.
[ She says it like the most obvious think in the world, then she gets up and goes to the cloak she was wearing and pulls something out. Returning to the bed, she takes her mother's hand and drops the Scottish pearls into her palm, the pearls that had been a gift from Jamie. ]
I thought these might be proof enough, that this random red-headed girl from the colonies really is the daughter of James Fraser.
[ She says it like the most obvious think in the world, then she gets up and goes to the cloak she was wearing and pulls something out. Returning to the bed, she takes her mother's hand and drops the Scottish pearls into her palm, the pearls that had been a gift from Jamie. ]
I thought these might be proof enough, that this random red-headed girl from the colonies really is the daughter of James Fraser.
[ Claire takes the pearls, her wedding gift from Jamie such a long time ago now - 24 years ago - and she looks at them with a soft smile. ]
May I keep these for a moment? Just to show Jamie.
[ It's not as long as it has been for her, if they were the same age it would have been just as long since he'd seen them. But still, she wants him to know their daughter has them now. ]
And that is smart, Bree. You look just like Jamie's mother did.
May I keep these for a moment? Just to show Jamie.
[ It's not as long as it has been for her, if they were the same age it would have been just as long since he'd seen them. But still, she wants him to know their daughter has them now. ]
And that is smart, Bree. You look just like Jamie's mother did.
Sure. I don't think I need them right now, and I didn't really know what to do with them. I was going to give them back to the family.
[ She's not really a pearls and lace type of girl, and with her new adventure, well. Marriage seems far off. ]
Did you come in here to talk to me about something specific?
[ She's not really a pearls and lace type of girl, and with her new adventure, well. Marriage seems far off. ]
Did you come in here to talk to me about something specific?
Yes, actually, before you criticized my clothing.
[ She smiles though, before going serious. ]
You no doubt saw the message on the network from Alice? That means something is coming. An event, like I was telling you about. That's all the warning we receive, and I don't know what to expect. No one does, not really. It could be something where our memories are played with, or it could be something that tries to harm us. I can't even be sure we'll all know one another. But if we do, please. Stay close, Bree. This isn't me trying to coddle you, things can be more dangerous than they seem when it's calm.
[ She smiles though, before going serious. ]
You no doubt saw the message on the network from Alice? That means something is coming. An event, like I was telling you about. That's all the warning we receive, and I don't know what to expect. No one does, not really. It could be something where our memories are played with, or it could be something that tries to harm us. I can't even be sure we'll all know one another. But if we do, please. Stay close, Bree. This isn't me trying to coddle you, things can be more dangerous than they seem when it's calm.
[ Bree goes quiet at that, but she nods and looks at her mother. ]
I'll try, I promise.
[ If she even knows who she is, apparently. ]
What have you done during events in the past? What do you do?
I'll try, I promise.
[ If she even knows who she is, apparently. ]
What have you done during events in the past? What do you do?
[ Christ, other than bleed out and pray for salvation? ]
The same thing I've done my entire life. Help people, the best I can if they're hurt or just need support. If we know ourselves, in any case.
[ Reaching out, she strokes Brianna's hair again, tucking it behind her ear. ]
A long time ago, Jamie promised me the protection of his body if need be. We both want you to know that extends to you as well. It will take time, I know, to get to know him, but he would still do anything for you.
The same thing I've done my entire life. Help people, the best I can if they're hurt or just need support. If we know ourselves, in any case.
[ Reaching out, she strokes Brianna's hair again, tucking it behind her ear. ]
A long time ago, Jamie promised me the protection of his body if need be. We both want you to know that extends to you as well. It will take time, I know, to get to know him, but he would still do anything for you.
[ Bree goes quiet at that, rolling the words around in her mind. She had a father who would have done anything for her that she knew and loved. Now she has Jamie, and she doesn't know him, she has no idea how she feels about him, but already he would step in front of danger for her. ]
I want to get to know him. I just thought I'd have more time. A long journey to prepare for the moment I saw his face.
I want to get to know him. I just thought I'd have more time. A long journey to prepare for the moment I saw his face.
That's all right, darling.
[ Claire's hand goes to he daughter's shoulder, squeezing gently. ]
We know. He knows. This is a lot to come face to face with, and so suddenly. You can go at your pace. He won't push you, I promise. That you even want to get to know him right now is enough.
[ Claire's hand goes to he daughter's shoulder, squeezing gently. ]
We know. He knows. This is a lot to come face to face with, and so suddenly. You can go at your pace. He won't push you, I promise. That you even want to get to know him right now is enough.
[ Letting out a breath of relief, Brianna nods. ]
I can already tell, you know. The difference between you and daddy and you and Jamie. The way you're always touching somewhere, whether you're holding hands or his hand is on your back. You and daddy, you were...you were never that close.
I can already tell, you know. The difference between you and daddy and you and Jamie. The way you're always touching somewhere, whether you're holding hands or his hand is on your back. You and daddy, you were...you were never that close.
[ Claire swallows heavily and then reaches for Brianna's hands, holding them in her own as she looks at her, right in the eyes. ]
Bree, I did love Frank. I loved the father he was to you. My love for him was a different sort of love than what I have with Jamie.
[ But she shows her now, the gold wedding band still on her finger. ]
There is a reason I've never taken this off. They're different reasons than why I've never taken off Jamie's ring. But they matter the same. And you never, ever, have to feel badly about loving the man who raised you with as much as your heart is capable of. It's what Jamie wanted, knowing he couldn't be there to do it himself. Frank was a good man, and there are things I will always love him for.
Bree, I did love Frank. I loved the father he was to you. My love for him was a different sort of love than what I have with Jamie.
[ But she shows her now, the gold wedding band still on her finger. ]
There is a reason I've never taken this off. They're different reasons than why I've never taken off Jamie's ring. But they matter the same. And you never, ever, have to feel badly about loving the man who raised you with as much as your heart is capable of. It's what Jamie wanted, knowing he couldn't be there to do it himself. Frank was a good man, and there are things I will always love him for.
[ There's a part of her that wants to cry, right now, and she looks down, swallowing a sudden lump in her throat. She doesn't understand, but then she's never had the experience her mother has. How could she, really? ]
I was so angry at you. Not because you loved someone else. But because for twenty years, you let me believe a lie. I'm not...I'm not angry anymore, I just want to try and understand everything. Why you thought some lie was better than you and daddy sitting down and telling me the truth.
I was so angry at you. Not because you loved someone else. But because for twenty years, you let me believe a lie. I'm not...I'm not angry anymore, I just want to try and understand everything. Why you thought some lie was better than you and daddy sitting down and telling me the truth.
[ Claire's heart truly feels like it's breaking a little. She wasn't ready for this conversation any more than Brianna had been ready to meet Jamie so suddenly. ]
Frank wanted to be a father so incredibly badly, and we tried, before the war, after. It just never happened. But he wanted it, so much, that he never wanted you to know that you weren't his biological child. He never wanted you to believe you meant any less to him because he didn't help make you. We talked about it, once, if we would ever say anything to you but he was afraid it would push you away.
[ Claire sighs softly, knowing that would have been far from the truth. They could have simply told her anything; that there was a time when Claire and Frank were separated and it was a long road but they made it back to one another. ]
There isn't much we could have said anyway that wouldn't have been either unbelievable or hurtful. Neither of us wanted that. It was a lie, on both of our parts, and for that, I'm truly sorry Brianna. I don't know what I would change or if I could, but we only had your happiness in mind.
Frank wanted to be a father so incredibly badly, and we tried, before the war, after. It just never happened. But he wanted it, so much, that he never wanted you to know that you weren't his biological child. He never wanted you to believe you meant any less to him because he didn't help make you. We talked about it, once, if we would ever say anything to you but he was afraid it would push you away.
[ Claire sighs softly, knowing that would have been far from the truth. They could have simply told her anything; that there was a time when Claire and Frank were separated and it was a long road but they made it back to one another. ]
There isn't much we could have said anyway that wouldn't have been either unbelievable or hurtful. Neither of us wanted that. It was a lie, on both of our parts, and for that, I'm truly sorry Brianna. I don't know what I would change or if I could, but we only had your happiness in mind.
[ This is all so much, and Bree rubs a hand over her face before that same hand moves through her hair. ]
I need to...process this. I understand it, I just need to think about. Give me time.
I need to...process this. I understand it, I just need to think about. Give me time.
I can understand that, Bree.
[ Standing, Claire leans down just to kiss the top of her daughter's head before stepping back. ]
I'll leave you to it, then. But if you ever...
[ She pauses, then just smiles softly. ]
Let me know if you have more questions. I'll answer them. We promised, after all: no more secrets. No more lies.
[ Going to the door, she steps through it but turns back and just before shutting it gently, says one last thing. ]
I love you. Good night, Bree.
[ Standing, Claire leans down just to kiss the top of her daughter's head before stepping back. ]
I'll leave you to it, then. But if you ever...
[ She pauses, then just smiles softly. ]
Let me know if you have more questions. I'll answer them. We promised, after all: no more secrets. No more lies.
[ Going to the door, she steps through it but turns back and just before shutting it gently, says one last thing. ]
I love you. Good night, Bree.
[ When Claire knocks lightly on Bree's door, she knows it's early enough that she's likely still sleeping, which is perfect. Opening the door, she walks to her bed and carefully sits, just watching her sleep for a moment. This is her daughter, the person who didn't ask for the responsibility of making sure Claire had a reason to wake up every morning in the wake of having to leave Jamie.
She knows she wasn't always the best mother she could have been, the most present, the most attentive. But that never changed the fact that Brianna was the light of her life and always would be. Reaching out, she lightly pushes her hair out of her face, noting that small smile on her lips.
She smiles in her sleep. Like you, she'd told Jamie once. Leaning down, she kisses Brianna's temple, then whispers. ]
Happy birthday, Bree.
She knows she wasn't always the best mother she could have been, the most present, the most attentive. But that never changed the fact that Brianna was the light of her life and always would be. Reaching out, she lightly pushes her hair out of her face, noting that small smile on her lips.
She smiles in her sleep. Like you, she'd told Jamie once. Leaning down, she kisses Brianna's temple, then whispers. ]
Happy birthday, Bree.
Edited 2018-11-20 20:20 (UTC)
[ For a moment, Bree doesn't stir, but finally it sinks in that someone's talking to her and she shifts to roll onto her back, opening her eyes. ]
Mama?
[ When she speaks, her voice is still sleepy, but then she smiles a little. ]
It is my birthday, isn't it?
Mama?
[ When she speaks, her voice is still sleepy, but then she smiles a little. ]
It is my birthday, isn't it?
Twenty-four years ago, at least for you, I held you in my arms for the first time, and you were perfect.
[ Now that she's properly awake, Claire kisses her forehead and tells her to hold on a moment before leaving the room. When she returns, it's with a little miniature cake and a single candle that's lit. Sitting again, she holds it out to Bree. ]
I know we haven't done this in a long time, but I thought with you here now, we should.
[ Now that she's properly awake, Claire kisses her forehead and tells her to hold on a moment before leaving the room. When she returns, it's with a little miniature cake and a single candle that's lit. Sitting again, she holds it out to Bree. ]
I know we haven't done this in a long time, but I thought with you here now, we should.
[ Honestly, Bree's a little emotional because she didn't think she'd ever celebrate another birthday with her mother. So, even if this is a little much for 24, she'll take it. Carefully, she leans in and blows out the candle, then takes the cupcake and swipes her finger through the frosting to taste, smiling. ]
Strawberry cream. My favorite. Thank you.
[ She kisses Claire's cheek softly, and then puts the cupcake aside to actually hug her tightly. ]
I missed this.
Strawberry cream. My favorite. Thank you.
[ She kisses Claire's cheek softly, and then puts the cupcake aside to actually hug her tightly. ]
I missed this.
Page 1 of 3