[ Christ, other than bleed out and pray for salvation? ]
The same thing I've done my entire life. Help people, the best I can if they're hurt or just need support. If we know ourselves, in any case.
[ Reaching out, she strokes Brianna's hair again, tucking it behind her ear. ]
A long time ago, Jamie promised me the protection of his body if need be. We both want you to know that extends to you as well. It will take time, I know, to get to know him, but he would still do anything for you.
[ Bree goes quiet at that, rolling the words around in her mind. She had a father who would have done anything for her that she knew and loved. Now she has Jamie, and she doesn't know him, she has no idea how she feels about him, but already he would step in front of danger for her. ]
I want to get to know him. I just thought I'd have more time. A long journey to prepare for the moment I saw his face.
[ Claire's hand goes to he daughter's shoulder, squeezing gently. ]
We know. He knows. This is a lot to come face to face with, and so suddenly. You can go at your pace. He won't push you, I promise. That you even want to get to know him right now is enough.
I can already tell, you know. The difference between you and daddy and you and Jamie. The way you're always touching somewhere, whether you're holding hands or his hand is on your back. You and daddy, you were...you were never that close.
[ Claire swallows heavily and then reaches for Brianna's hands, holding them in her own as she looks at her, right in the eyes. ]
Bree, I did love Frank. I loved the father he was to you. My love for him was a different sort of love than what I have with Jamie.
[ But she shows her now, the gold wedding band still on her finger. ]
There is a reason I've never taken this off. They're different reasons than why I've never taken off Jamie's ring. But they matter the same. And you never, ever, have to feel badly about loving the man who raised you with as much as your heart is capable of. It's what Jamie wanted, knowing he couldn't be there to do it himself. Frank was a good man, and there are things I will always love him for.
[ There's a part of her that wants to cry, right now, and she looks down, swallowing a sudden lump in her throat. She doesn't understand, but then she's never had the experience her mother has. How could she, really? ]
I was so angry at you. Not because you loved someone else. But because for twenty years, you let me believe a lie. I'm not...I'm not angry anymore, I just want to try and understand everything. Why you thought some lie was better than you and daddy sitting down and telling me the truth.
[ Claire's heart truly feels like it's breaking a little. She wasn't ready for this conversation any more than Brianna had been ready to meet Jamie so suddenly. ]
Frank wanted to be a father so incredibly badly, and we tried, before the war, after. It just never happened. But he wanted it, so much, that he never wanted you to know that you weren't his biological child. He never wanted you to believe you meant any less to him because he didn't help make you. We talked about it, once, if we would ever say anything to you but he was afraid it would push you away.
[ Claire sighs softly, knowing that would have been far from the truth. They could have simply told her anything; that there was a time when Claire and Frank were separated and it was a long road but they made it back to one another. ]
There isn't much we could have said anyway that wouldn't have been either unbelievable or hurtful. Neither of us wanted that. It was a lie, on both of our parts, and for that, I'm truly sorry Brianna. I don't know what I would change or if I could, but we only had your happiness in mind.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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I'll try, I promise.
[ If she even knows who she is, apparently. ]
What have you done during events in the past? What do you do?
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The same thing I've done my entire life. Help people, the best I can if they're hurt or just need support. If we know ourselves, in any case.
[ Reaching out, she strokes Brianna's hair again, tucking it behind her ear. ]
A long time ago, Jamie promised me the protection of his body if need be. We both want you to know that extends to you as well. It will take time, I know, to get to know him, but he would still do anything for you.
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I want to get to know him. I just thought I'd have more time. A long journey to prepare for the moment I saw his face.
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[ Claire's hand goes to he daughter's shoulder, squeezing gently. ]
We know. He knows. This is a lot to come face to face with, and so suddenly. You can go at your pace. He won't push you, I promise. That you even want to get to know him right now is enough.
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I can already tell, you know. The difference between you and daddy and you and Jamie. The way you're always touching somewhere, whether you're holding hands or his hand is on your back. You and daddy, you were...you were never that close.
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Bree, I did love Frank. I loved the father he was to you. My love for him was a different sort of love than what I have with Jamie.
[ But she shows her now, the gold wedding band still on her finger. ]
There is a reason I've never taken this off. They're different reasons than why I've never taken off Jamie's ring. But they matter the same. And you never, ever, have to feel badly about loving the man who raised you with as much as your heart is capable of. It's what Jamie wanted, knowing he couldn't be there to do it himself. Frank was a good man, and there are things I will always love him for.
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I was so angry at you. Not because you loved someone else. But because for twenty years, you let me believe a lie. I'm not...I'm not angry anymore, I just want to try and understand everything. Why you thought some lie was better than you and daddy sitting down and telling me the truth.
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Frank wanted to be a father so incredibly badly, and we tried, before the war, after. It just never happened. But he wanted it, so much, that he never wanted you to know that you weren't his biological child. He never wanted you to believe you meant any less to him because he didn't help make you. We talked about it, once, if we would ever say anything to you but he was afraid it would push you away.
[ Claire sighs softly, knowing that would have been far from the truth. They could have simply told her anything; that there was a time when Claire and Frank were separated and it was a long road but they made it back to one another. ]
There isn't much we could have said anyway that wouldn't have been either unbelievable or hurtful. Neither of us wanted that. It was a lie, on both of our parts, and for that, I'm truly sorry Brianna. I don't know what I would change or if I could, but we only had your happiness in mind.
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I need to...process this. I understand it, I just need to think about. Give me time.
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[ Standing, Claire leans down just to kiss the top of her daughter's head before stepping back. ]
I'll leave you to it, then. But if you ever...
[ She pauses, then just smiles softly. ]
Let me know if you have more questions. I'll answer them. We promised, after all: no more secrets. No more lies.
[ Going to the door, she steps through it but turns back and just before shutting it gently, says one last thing. ]
I love you. Good night, Bree.