[Oh, busted. Jamie manages to look embarrassed--that obvious, was he?]
Ye go right in for the kill, just like another woman I ken. [Her mother. It's been strange but wonderful seeing Claire being a mother, as brief as the interactions have been. He always knew she'd be a good one.]
The last twenty years haven't been easy for me, Brianna. [An admission, though he wonders how much she knows, or how much Claire could know.] Sometimes I dinna have the words for the times that have passed, but I would like to share them with ye--and ye mother. Eventually.
It doesn't have to happen all at once. I just wanted you to know, it's okay. I want to know you. And I want you to know me. I mean, that's why I'm here.
[ She smiles at him again. ]
Come on, before she thinks something terrible's happened to me. I could tell she wasn't ready to let me leave the room on my own.
[ She pauses on the first step though, turning her head to look at him, studying his face. ]
She never could love Frank the same. Not the way she loved you. I couldn't understand why until I knew the truth, and now that I've seen it. She's never looked at anyone in her life the way she looks at you. I thought you should know that.
[ Brianna continues going upstairs then, hoping she said the right thing. She wants him to know, though, that Claire's love for him was always that obvious. ]
[Mentions of Frank is enough to knock him down, but when Bree continues--it hits something deep within him. He's never looked at anyone the way he looks at Claire, and God, he hopes she realizes it. It's only ever been her. Before Jamie can say as much, he has to hurry after Bree, careful not to drop the food. But before they go in--]
She told me he passed, Frank. I'm sorry for it.
[She lost the father she knew. He knows that pain well.]
[ Brianna looks back at Jamie and reaches out, lightly, to rest her hand on his arm. ]
I can't imagine what that feels like. To know you had to give us both away. But I was very loved, and I had a good life.
[ Her voice breaks and she clears her throat, looking down for a moment before back up at Jamie. ]
My father was a good man. I want you to know that, too. But I think it's okay to want to know you, too. Someone who wanted me so much, he gave me away.
[ If he hadn't, she likely would never have been born because Claire would be dead with him at Culloden, and Bree's wise enough to know that. ]
[He loved Claire more than life, and he still made her go because Brianna, and keeping them both safe, was more important. To see that they're well and that Brianna's had a good upbringing? Well, it's most certainly worth every lonely night and dark moment in which he didn't want to take another breath because he was sure his heart would shatter.]
I won't give ye up again. As long as ye want me, Brianna, I'm here.
[Balancing the tray in one hand, he lifts an arm to put around her shoulders and draw her near.]
[ And as far as she knows, Claire's never leaving Jamie again. So, he has them. Both of them, and she leans into his one-armed hug. She believes him; she doesn't know him, but she believes him, instantly. Maybe it's that she knows her mother trusts him, maybe it's because he's a part of her. Whatever it is, she doesn't doubt anything he's saying.
When she finally pulls back, it's to open the door and let him through ahead of her because he has the tray, and God knows how long he's been carrying it. ]
[For a man in his 40s, he does manage to look like a little boy about to be scolded as he steps into the room. Thanks for tossing him under the carriage, Bree.]
I just, ah, thought ye might need a moment or two to talk.
[He sets the tray down on the table in the room and pulls out a chair, nodding over to Bree. For her.]
[Claire pauses mid-pace when the two redheads make their return. So, just as she thought. There's a clear look of relief when they're back, and that's really all that matters.]
It's all right. [Jamie's in her good graces for the foreseeable future. As far as she can say, at least.]
While we eat, we should probably figure out how tonight is going to work.
[He had been leading her to where he'd been staying, but there's three of them, not just two. This room is small--Jamie alone could barely fit on the bed.]
[Clever girl. Once he's seated and he pushes in her chair, and Claire sits herself, he finally joins them. He gives Claire a pleased smile--they already fumbled over how to introduce her to others when he was handling business earlier.]
Aye, you're right. Claire Malcolm and Brianna Malcolm, for now. [He reaches for one of the rolls he was given from the kitchen.] I havena gone by the name Fraser in a verra long time. The English don't much like me, ye ken. [A smile now for Bree.] Save for ye mother. Never could figure that one out.
[And so does Claire, her eyes rolling before she reaches for some food for her plate as well.]
We could rent a bigger room here, maybe? [She's going back to that, oblivious to how Jamie's gaze shifts from her to the food. He's not at ease.] Unless someone takes the floor. I'm afraid we don't have too much coin with us.
[Transportation, Food, board, and new clothes cost a lot.]
[ Bree fixes her plate too, quietly as she thinks about it. It's not up to her to come up with a solution, she knows, but she can't help looking at him. ]
Will you stay here? I could even sleep on the floor, it doesn't matter.
[ Her mother should get to be in the same bed with him again, after all, maybe. She doesn't want to think about that much. ]
I'm afraid if I sleep again and you leave, I'll wake up in 1968 and this won't be real.
The floor? Ach, no, ye won't be sleeping on the floor. [Preposterous. He does have a thought to take them to the brothel, but some flicker of foresight pulls the reins on that idea. Do you really want to bring your wife and daughter to a whorehouse, Fraser? No.]
I can see if they've got a bigger room with more beds after we finish up. I'm no' going anywhere, Brianna. I promised.
[He briefly puts a hand on her arm before going back to his plate.]
[He promised, did he? What did they talk about when Bree went to fetch him?]
And you shouldn't be sleeping on the floor, either, before you can suggest it. [Not at his age.] I'm sure they have another bed. [She's not betting on sharing one with Jamie any time soon. It's too much, especially with Bree with them.]
[ At some point, she realizes, she'll have to make herself scarce so her mother and Jamie can...whatever. She won't think about it. Maybe Fergus can be her guide, but she'll wait to bring that up later. Instead, she focuses on eating the food on her plate. ]
It'll work out as long as we're together.
[ She smiles at Jamie then, because he did promise, and she knows he won't break it. ]
[ Bree smiles brightly at the idea of visiting Lallybroch, then ducks her head with a soft laugh before looking at Jamie, her eyebrow arched. ]
Are you still so accident prone? How many times has she patched you up anyway? Also, if it makes you feel better she's patched me up a lot, too. So many skinned knees.
... I dinna think I should answer that. [He says with a grin, stuffing more food into his mouth as he relaxes. Twenty years has left him with a few new scars, and God, he had wished Claire had been there to fix his hurts. The wound on his leg almost killed him after Culloden, and Fergus losing his hand had been terrifying. It all would have been easier with her there.
But then, a little more seriously:]
I lost count of how many times yer mother fixed my wee scratches, but she always did a good job of it.
[And he dares to reach out a hand to cover Claire's, the scars on his fingers lighter, but still there.]
[The touch makes Claire smile. She can feel the fingers are still stiff, but they move a little easier than they once did. Her hand turns in his to give it a brief squeeze before she speaks.]
I hope a printer doesn't get into brawls or shot as if he's getting paid for it.
[ It's so amazing to watch the two of them interact, and Bree gets so caught up in watching them that for a second she doesn't realize the conversation has lulled. But it's comfortable this time, and she smiles at both of them. ]
Once, I fell out of a tree mama told me not to climb, multiple times, and I fell out and broke my arm. But she made me feel so safe. I was afraid, but it was okay, I knew it would be somehow.
[ When she looks at Claire, her smile is warm. It's a memory she hasn't thought about in so long, but to have her there taking care of her meant everything. A part of her thinks no matter how much time passes, she'll always need her that way.
I dinna much listen to her either. Got me into trouble more than I'd like to admit, but she fixed it up, always. Though she wasn't always gentle wi' it.
[Just like now, when she pinches his hand and he pulls it away with a smile and a soft ouch. He remembers how angry she could be when he got stabbed or got himself stepped on by a horse, or something like that. Sometimes she wasn't all that gentle but she made sure he lived.]
[Claire's moved, but she's quickly distracted by Jamie's comment. So, he gets pinched.]
The both of you'd better listen, now. I've less patience these days. [Not true.] No skinned knees, no broken arms, broken toes, or anything that makes my blood pressure go up.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
givingback) wrote2018-01-06 09:51 am
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Ye go right in for the kill, just like another woman I ken. [Her mother. It's been strange but wonderful seeing Claire being a mother, as brief as the interactions have been. He always knew she'd be a good one.]
The last twenty years haven't been easy for me, Brianna. [An admission, though he wonders how much she knows, or how much Claire could know.] Sometimes I dinna have the words for the times that have passed, but I would like to share them with ye--and ye mother. Eventually.
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[ She smiles at him again. ]
Come on, before she thinks something terrible's happened to me. I could tell she wasn't ready to let me leave the room on my own.
[ She pauses on the first step though, turning her head to look at him, studying his face. ]
She never could love Frank the same. Not the way she loved you. I couldn't understand why until I knew the truth, and now that I've seen it. She's never looked at anyone in her life the way she looks at you. I thought you should know that.
[ Brianna continues going upstairs then, hoping she said the right thing. She wants him to know, though, that Claire's love for him was always that obvious. ]
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[Mentions of Frank is enough to knock him down, but when Bree continues--it hits something deep within him. He's never looked at anyone the way he looks at Claire, and God, he hopes she realizes it. It's only ever been her. Before Jamie can say as much, he has to hurry after Bree, careful not to drop the food. But before they go in--]
She told me he passed, Frank. I'm sorry for it.
[She lost the father she knew. He knows that pain well.]
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I can't imagine what that feels like. To know you had to give us both away. But I was very loved, and I had a good life.
[ Her voice breaks and she clears her throat, looking down for a moment before back up at Jamie. ]
My father was a good man. I want you to know that, too. But I think it's okay to want to know you, too. Someone who wanted me so much, he gave me away.
[ If he hadn't, she likely would never have been born because Claire would be dead with him at Culloden, and Bree's wise enough to know that. ]
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I won't give ye up again. As long as ye want me, Brianna, I'm here.
[Balancing the tray in one hand, he lifts an arm to put around her shoulders and draw her near.]
I swear it on my life.
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[ And as far as she knows, Claire's never leaving Jamie again. So, he has them. Both of them, and she leans into his one-armed hug. She believes him; she doesn't know him, but she believes him, instantly. Maybe it's that she knows her mother trusts him, maybe it's because he's a part of her. Whatever it is, she doesn't doubt anything he's saying.
When she finally pulls back, it's to open the door and let him through ahead of her because he has the tray, and God knows how long he's been carrying it. ]
I found him. Loitering.
[ She teases. ]
drags Claire back in
I just, ah, thought ye might need a moment or two to talk.
[He sets the tray down on the table in the room and pulls out a chair, nodding over to Bree. For her.]
Meat's still warm.
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It's all right. [Jamie's in her good graces for the foreseeable future. As far as she can say, at least.]
While we eat, we should probably figure out how tonight is going to work.
[He had been leading her to where he'd been staying, but there's three of them, not just two. This room is small--Jamie alone could barely fit on the bed.]
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[ Bree has no idea how much she's supposed to contribute to this, and she clears her throat. ]
If you're Alexander Malcolm here, it's for a reason. So mama and I should have the same last name as you.
[ Now, she looks at Jamie. ]
Right?
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Aye, you're right. Claire Malcolm and Brianna Malcolm, for now. [He reaches for one of the rolls he was given from the kitchen.] I havena gone by the name Fraser in a verra long time. The English don't much like me, ye ken. [A smile now for Bree.] Save for ye mother. Never could figure that one out.
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[And so does Claire, her eyes rolling before she reaches for some food for her plate as well.]
We could rent a bigger room here, maybe? [She's going back to that, oblivious to how Jamie's gaze shifts from her to the food. He's not at ease.] Unless someone takes the floor. I'm afraid we don't have too much coin with us.
[Transportation, Food, board, and new clothes cost a lot.]
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Will you stay here? I could even sleep on the floor, it doesn't matter.
[ Her mother should get to be in the same bed with him again, after all, maybe. She doesn't want to think about that much. ]
I'm afraid if I sleep again and you leave, I'll wake up in 1968 and this won't be real.
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I can see if they've got a bigger room with more beds after we finish up. I'm no' going anywhere, Brianna. I promised.
[He briefly puts a hand on her arm before going back to his plate.]
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And you shouldn't be sleeping on the floor, either, before you can suggest it. [Not at his age.] I'm sure they have another bed. [She's not betting on sharing one with Jamie any time soon. It's too much, especially with Bree with them.]
If not... we'll figure something out.
[Maybe they just won't sleep.]
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It'll work out as long as we're together.
[ She smiles at Jamie then, because he did promise, and she knows he won't break it. ]
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Aye.
[A bite of food, and he makes a thoughtful noise.]
I'll have to get someone to watch the shop here, but we can see about visiting Lallybroch.
[... he should probably bring young Ian home before his father comes looking for him.]
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[She covers up her smile by taking a drink. There you go, redheads. Have at it.]
It was her request.
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Are you still so accident prone? How many times has she patched you up anyway? Also, if it makes you feel better she's patched me up a lot, too. So many skinned knees.
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But then, a little more seriously:]
I lost count of how many times yer mother fixed my wee scratches, but she always did a good job of it.
[And he dares to reach out a hand to cover Claire's, the scars on his fingers lighter, but still there.]
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I hope a printer doesn't get into brawls or shot as if he's getting paid for it.
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Once, I fell out of a tree mama told me not to climb, multiple times, and I fell out and broke my arm. But she made me feel so safe. I was afraid, but it was okay, I knew it would be somehow.
[ When she looks at Claire, her smile is warm. It's a memory she hasn't thought about in so long, but to have her there taking care of her meant everything. A part of her thinks no matter how much time passes, she'll always need her that way.
Another (selfish) reason she wanted to come. ]
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[Just like now, when she pinches his hand and he pulls it away with a smile and a soft ouch. He remembers how angry she could be when he got stabbed or got himself stepped on by a horse, or something like that. Sometimes she wasn't all that gentle but she made sure he lived.]
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The both of you'd better listen, now. I've less patience these days. [Not true.] No skinned knees, no broken arms, broken toes, or anything that makes my blood pressure go up.
[Good luck.]
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I'll promise if he promises.
[ Now, she eyes Jamie, raising an eyebrow. ]
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He can only give a playful shrug of his shoulder. The man doesn't make empty promises.]
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