I got hurt. It was nothing major, I promise, just a cut on my leg. I didn't even feel it, and I only noticed it when she asked me if I was okay. She offered to heal it and I was curious about what healing fish magic even is, so I let her.
[ Bree takes the biggest bite of pancake possible to avoid talking again for a few seconds at least. ]
[This isn't the conversation she was planning on getting into when she decided to lure Bree out with some breakfast at midnight. Truth be told, it slipped her mind. Jamie's time at Helwater isn't anything Claire tends to dwell on.]
When... I went back through the stones, I did so knowing there was a possibility that Jamie could have an entirely new life. A wife, children.
[Which he did sort of have. The Laoghaire ordeal is a mess Claire will keep to herself, for now.]
[ Whatever she thought was going to come out of her mother's mouth, that wasn't it. And she has no idea what to say for a while and she has no idea what the right thing to say is. ]
I was prepared for a hell of a lot more than that. [Just, you know, not Jamie marrying the woman that nearly got her burned as a witch.] His name is William. Willie. Jamie was working as a servant, and one of the ladies of the household blackmailed him into sleeping with her. The boy was a result of that. She died during childbirth and so he has no idea of his relation to Jamie.
Jamie was able to see him grow for some time. He taught him how to ride a horse. The boy was adopted by his aunt, and Jamie's friend ended up marrying the woman. So he knew he was in good hands.
[Friend? Is that was John Grey was? It seems a bit simple, but Claire's still unsure about what history there is there.]
From the sounds of it, he at least had the foundations for a good, spoiled life. Jamie and I never spoke of it much after the initial conversation. I didn't want to upset him.
[That's a question. Claire sighs, picking up her fork, and giving it a thoughtful little twirl.]
It's not that I don't want to meet him. Should the opportunity ever arise I'm sure I'd take it. But... it's not something I long for, no. I'm fine with Willie being a portrait.
[There's no hesitation in that, or Claire putting her fork down and pushing her plate aside so she can reach over and put her hand on Bree's arm, giving a firm squeeze.]
Your father loves you. Both your fathers loved you from the very beginning. From the very moment they knew you existed.
[That comes as a surprise to Claire. Not once at home did she ever try to make Bree feel like she couldn't mourn. It's why she hardly changed a thing in the house when Frank passed. His books, his cigar box, photos of him--all were kept right where they were, so that Bree always had that to touch and look at when she missed her father.]
[ Bree nods, wetting her lips and letting out a breath. ]
I know. I know. I'm sorry, I don't know why I keep thinking about it.
[ There's no real point, right? So, she takes a bite of her pancakes. ]
I don't know Jamie very well. But I didn't want to give him any reasons to avoid talking to me because I brought up dad sometimes. It should have been him.
Shh, it's all right. You don't need to think about it. You can always talk about it with me.
[She knows now, and maybe always had a sense, that things were not wonderful between Claire and Frank. But they made it work, because they loved her. Claire has never regretted that.]
And there's no reason for you to not bring up Frank. Jamie gets it.
No one will think that. You're a young woman with two fathers and you're trying to figure things out. There's nothing wrong with that. I promise you, Bree.
[She wishes she could make this easier for her, but Claire's never really had to deal with her own father-related drama.]
[Theon keeps to himself, for the most part. And while Claire is attentive, she's actually much more relaxed with him under her roof. He doesn't need to be watched every moment, but it's easier to make sure he's all right when he's only a door away.]
I think he was worried about that, too. He avoided me for a while, not wanting to intrude on us. But that was never a thing either of you needed to be concerned with. You are my daughter. And he's...
[He knows where his place is. Not that Bree is totally into Theon but damn, ouch. ]
I know that maybe I haven't said it, and maybe I'm just not used to knowing you'll be around whenever I want you to be, but there's clearly so much about you I don't know. And I want to know it. I want to know you. The real you, not the one who put on an act around daddy.
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[ Bree takes the biggest bite of pancake possible to avoid talking again for a few seconds at least. ]
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[It's hard not to worry even when the wound is long healed by magic.]
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No more secrets, remember?
[ Apparently that carries over here, too. She hopes, at least. ]
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No more secrets. You're right.
[Which... does bring something to mind, and that smile abruptly fades.]
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[ Someone has a secret. ]
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When... I went back through the stones, I did so knowing there was a possibility that Jamie could have an entirely new life. A wife, children.
[Which he did sort of have. The Laoghaire ordeal is a mess Claire will keep to herself, for now.]
I found out he had a son. An illegitimate son.
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...Are you okay?
[ That's the first thing that comes to mind. ]
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[And she means it.]
I was prepared for a hell of a lot more than that. [Just, you know, not Jamie marrying the woman that nearly got her burned as a witch.] His name is William. Willie. Jamie was working as a servant, and one of the ladies of the household blackmailed him into sleeping with her. The boy was a result of that. She died during childbirth and so he has no idea of his relation to Jamie.
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Which means all this time has gone by, and Jamie's never seen him again? I have a half-brother who can never know he has other family?
[ Just so she understands how this bastard stuff works. ]
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[Friend? Is that was John Grey was? It seems a bit simple, but Claire's still unsure about what history there is there.]
From the sounds of it, he at least had the foundations for a good, spoiled life. Jamie and I never spoke of it much after the initial conversation. I didn't want to upset him.
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[ She hesitates in asking that, but she's curious. Would her mother even want to know this child that wasn't hers? ]
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It's not that I don't want to meet him. Should the opportunity ever arise I'm sure I'd take it. But... it's not something I long for, no. I'm fine with Willie being a portrait.
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[ Brianna stops, pausing because she's not sure how this is going to sound, but. She knows her mom took photographs back to the 18th century. ]
Do you think I was better off as a portrait, for Jamie?
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[There's no hesitation in that, or Claire putting her fork down and pushing her plate aside so she can reach over and put her hand on Bree's arm, giving a firm squeeze.]
Your father loves you. Both your fathers loved you from the very beginning. From the very moment they knew you existed.
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I miss him. So much. And I feel like I...I can't here.
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What do you mean?
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[ She trails off, trying not to get overly emotional about it, but she's been wrestling with it for a while. ]
I don't know how to navigate this.
[ There's no way to know how to deal with two dads, one dead, one an 18th century Scot. ]
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[Least of all Jamie.]
Remember. Jamie sent me back because he wanted you to be safe and loved.
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I know. I know. I'm sorry, I don't know why I keep thinking about it.
[ There's no real point, right? So, she takes a bite of her pancakes. ]
I don't know Jamie very well. But I didn't want to give him any reasons to avoid talking to me because I brought up dad sometimes. It should have been him.
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[She knows now, and maybe always had a sense, that things were not wonderful between Claire and Frank. But they made it work, because they loved her. Claire has never regretted that.]
And there's no reason for you to not bring up Frank. Jamie gets it.
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I don't want anyone to think I'm trying to hang onto something that isn't there. Or that I'm...trying to hurt Jamie somehow? I don't know.
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[She wishes she could make this easier for her, but Claire's never really had to deal with her own father-related drama.]
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I'm sorry. About being so negative about things before. I...it's not really that bad.
[ She means with Theon, of course. ]
I just thought that this chance we had to get to know each other again, or even for the first time at all, would be over-shadowed.
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I think he was worried about that, too. He avoided me for a while, not wanting to intrude on us. But that was never a thing either of you needed to be concerned with. You are my daughter. And he's...
[Something else.]
He knows where his place is.
'luck' her. what the hell i ruined it.
I know that maybe I haven't said it, and maybe I'm just not used to knowing you'll be around whenever I want you to be, but there's clearly so much about you I don't know. And I want to know it. I want to know you. The real you, not the one who put on an act around daddy.
what the luck.
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